I have been less than diligent with my blogging this last week so many apologies to anyone who has deigned to check in on my progress only to find the cupboard was bare of updates. Shame on me I say. The last few days have been an undulating journey of injury, excess, sporting victory, and finally a triumphant return to the roads for your favourite marine mammal.
So, having divided the activities of the last number of days into tidy themes above, I shall continue by discussing the time using these topics.
Injury may perhaps be too strong a word for the strain I suffered, however after my run on Thursday I was stricken with a pain in my hip that warranted rest from my daily trot for a number of days. Now it has been pointed out to me previously by a friend of mine that I have neglected to mention stretches on this blow by blow account and this is something I am about to remedy. Since the beginning of my training I have been using the remnants of what I can remember from back in Ye Olde Hockey Playing Days as my stretching routine. Considering the pinnacle of said days was a selection for the Under 16’s Leinster Squad and that I have spent much of the 13 years since then furiously annihilating my capacity for memory with an unprecedented appetite for immoderate socialising, it is no surprise really that my stretching routine fell short of the mark. In fact it couldn’t even see the mark with binoculars. I was doing a quad stretch, something that I thought was a calf stretch and a seriously impoverished relation of a hamstring stretch. The result of this shambolic stretch routine was that my hip became most irritated with me and told me I could bugger off if I thought I was going out to fling my considerable weight on the street in a repetitive motion without so much as a few decently developed core muscles to prevent it from getting jolted about. I listened to it and decided that I would give it a rest on Friday and Saturday and wait to see if there was an improvement. Saturday I went out riding in the Polo place on a polo pony while my friend was on my horse. As I was on the more diminutive of the two I was up and down a number of times to open gates and while remounting on one of the occasions I felt a slight twist in the offending haunch joint and immediately began planning my hip replacement operation for sometime before christmas. I want a rainbow coloured prosthetic.
Though I was concerned about the effect the hip would have on the consistency of my Warrior Training Plan, I would be a bare faced liar if I claimed that the deliberate resting with the aim of recuperation wasn’t going to make some room for the next theme of the weekend: Excess. Friday night saw me cooking for three girlfriends a decadent dinner of the most pinguid belly of pork accompanied by several bottles of wine. I was reasonably sauced on my retirement to bed but nothing worth checking into the betty ford over. That came on Saturday where I also encountered Sporting Victory. Alas the victory was not mine but that of the Irish Rugby Team who I witnessed giving England a decidedly unconvincing beating in the Six Nations Championship. I observed this from the confines of Hill 16 in Croke Park as my friend Julie had kindly offered to take me to the game at the last minute. I was delighted for a opportunity to use the new hip-flask that I’d been given for my birthday and employed it to my advantage in both making myself very drunk and making friends with those around me. Sunday saw the excess of the previous two days continue with myself and a collection of male friends (two drunk, two sober) take and excursion to Wicklow where we all rode the long suffering horse before returning to Dun Laoghaire for Sunday Lunch and bacchanalian activity. My hip was still sore at this stage but improving and one of the aforementioned males (my sister’s boyfriend) gave me some very helpful yoga stretches for the hip area. I think in accordance with the advice of my boards.ie mentor and now also of my sister’s boyfriend, I will add a weekly yoga class to my Warrior training routine.
Monday dawned grey and innocuous. As i am a merry voyager on The Good Ship Jobless at the moment there was little done in the way of anything on this weeks genesis. It was a real day that put the Munday into Mundane. The griping from my femoral joint had subsided greatly but I decided not to take a chance with it and researched some proper stretching methods while bidding a griefless goodbye to my previous Acme Stretch Routine. A fairly thorough look at what was on offer led me to settle on this routine which was posted very kindly by a Josh Clark on the Cool Running website.
1. Wall Pushup #1
Stand about three feet from a wall, feet at shoulder width and flat on the ground. Put your hands on the wall with your arms straight for support. Lean your hips forward and bend your knees slightly to stretch your calves.
2. Wall Pushup #2
From the previous position, bend forward to lower your body to waist height. Bring one foot forward with your knee slightly bent. Lift the toes of the front foot to stretch the muscle under the calf. Stretch both legs.
3. Wall Pushup #3
Put your feet together, rocking back on your heels with your hands on the wall and your arms straight to form a jackknife with your body. This stretches your hips, shoulders, and lower back.
4. Back Scratch
Grab your elbow with the opposite hand and gently push the elbow up and across your body until your hand reaches down to “scratch” your back. Gently push on your elbow to guide your hand down your back as far as it will comfortably go, stretching your triceps and shoulders. Stretch both arms.
5. Hamstring Stretch
Lie down with one leg straight up in the air, the other bent with foot flat on the ground. Loop a towel over the arch of the lifted foot, and gently pull on the towel as you push against it with your foot. Push only to the point where your muscles contract. Stretch both legs.
6. Quadriceps Stretch
Kneel on your knees (without resting back on your heels). Lean back with your body erect and your arms to the side. Hold for 15 seconds.
7. Heel To Buttock
Stand on one foot, with one hand on a wall for balance. Hold the other foot with the opposite hand and raise the heel of the lifted foot to the buttocks (or as close as comfortably possible), stretching your quadriceps. Keep your body upright throughout. Change legs and repeat.
8. Hip & Lower Back Stretch
Sit on the ground with your legs crossed. Lift your right leg and cross it over the left, which should remain bent. Hug the right leg to your chest and twist the trunk of your body to look over your right shoulder. Change legs and repeat (i.e. looking over your left shoulder).
9. Iliotibial Band Stretch
Lie on your side with both legs bent in running position. Bring the bottom leg toward your chest and then bring the top one back toward your buttocks, so that the running position of your legs is exaggerated as possible. Hold for 30 seconds then flip sides and repeat.
10. Hamstring & Back Stretch
Lie on your back with your knees bent. Hug your shins to your chest to stretch your hamstrings and lower back.
11. Bridge
Lie on your back and, with your feet flat on the ground, lift your hips up until your body forms a flat plane. Repeat this one ten times for 30 seconds each to stretch your quads and lower back.
12. Groin Stretch
Seated, put the soles of your feet together. With your elbows on the inside of your knees, gradually lean forward and gently press your knees toward the ground.
I also have added in the yoga stretches given to me which go as follows
1. Sit on ground with legs crossed and reach forward with your arms and upper body as far as possible. The do the same side to side. Then uncross your legs and recross them with the other leg on the bottom and repeat.
2. Lie on your back and hold one knee up to your chest as far as you can with the other leg on the ground flat. Repeat with other leg.
The whole lot seemed like an unmerciful rigmarole when I looked at it on paper but to be honest it wasn’t a bother. Ah no, I’m only joking, it is an unmerciful rigmarole. An extra ten minutes either end of my attempt at fitness where I get to remind myself of my inflexibility and general lack of suppleness. As is bicycle crunches weren’t enough. However I am an aspiring warrior now and rigmarole or not it shall be endured, which it dutifully was before I set off on my run today.